96 days to go: just the newspaper, please!

There is a new world record for the consumption of 28g of Cheerios......5.6 seconds. The pesky LA Times, a faltering paper by itself, greeted my dewy grass this morning with a box of Honey Nut Cheerios embedded in the plastic sleeve.

Drat! That means, naturally, I must eat said cereal. It simply would be unheard of to offer the cereal to my fiance or a passerby. I picked up the paper; therefore, the cereal must be eaten.

I've made up an entire labyrinth of rules and codes of conduct that have entitled me to these extra mounds of doughy flesh. They allow me to sneak, scarf, and consume more food than I need and then experience the cyclical guilt, wilting self-worth, and struggling to regain my value rollercoaster.

I read recently that having a weight issue is serving me in some way or I wouldn't do it. I don't like this theory....yet, it makes sense. If it absolutely benefited me in no way...I would have stopped.

So, I ask myself today, of what benefit is being overweight, chubby, fat, large, thick, etc.?

Potential answers for MY own weight being a positive:

1. It's a defense mechanism against thinking that any failures are based on lack of ability and/or personality flaws (because I'm not given a "fair look" or chance because of my weight)
2. It distances me from potential romantic, flirtatious, sexually-charged situations (I'm the funny fat girl, the supportive wing-man to thin friends, the consummate "friend")
3. I am almost always offered the passenger seat in the car (versus squeezing fellow riders in the back)
4. It's an excuse as to why I don't look very fashionable (since there's "so little out there" that looks unlike a potato sack)

Hmmm.....I didn't like making that list but it does make sense. I can't possibly cling to behavior that I know to be unhealthy if it isn't rewarding me in some way.

So, why did I just eat the Cheerios (and the Cinnamon Toast Crunch....ah heck!)....because that's 5 points in cereal and those 10 seconds were full of bliss.

Ummmmm....how will I eat my gourmet dinner planned with just 7 pts. left?

Now that's going to have to get creative!!!